Cat Lady Status

You know those movies or books that make you fall in love with the main characters who get these wonderful guys who are attractive, chivalrous, good humored, and have a personality. Yeah, all those wonderful 'so many feels' movies/books. They suck. They remind me that I'm single and that I don't have anyone like that in my life.

And I'm over here like:

Why must my favorite books/movies always have so many feels. WHY?!?!

So that brings me to this...I have a feeling that I'm going to be a crazy cat lady. Why you may ask, well I'm nearly 22 and I've never had a serious relationship. That's not to say I've never had a boyfriend but I've never been in love and had someone in love with me.

But I'm okay really...

Just kidding (well, for the most part) 

BUT who doesn't love cats?!

They're a bit weird but adorably cute!

They provide humor when you need a good laugh

and who could resist a precious face like this:

So in all honesty, I love cats just maybe not owning 15. Maybe I should rethink the movies and books I read until I get out of this "cat phase".

Thanks for reading!
Until next time!

Paths

Being jobless is for lack of a better term, sucky. You have bills to pay, you can't support yourself, and you have to be very frugal (which I'm not especially good at). Being supported by your parents has some great benefits but you have very little actual independence which is, in my opinion, all that college is about. It is identifying yourself and figuring out who you are without the parental input controlling your life. Exactly how is one supposed to find themselves if they're being chaperoned from appointment to appointment and asking for money all the time? One doesn't and that's where my problem sets in.

I want to be independent, I want to travel the world. I want to see amazing places and meet amazing people. I want to write a novel. I want to do something I love and not be told to sit in an office everyday. These dreams, they all require to know oneself and how can I know myself if I'm not independent?! But also brings up the fact how much do I need to know. There's so much to the human brain how could I possibly know what I all need to know to assert that I choose the right path to take. The right dream to follow.

It seems to me that life is a beautiful chaotic mess and sometimes it's so easy to get swept up in it. It's so easy to follow what you're supposed to do. I had a plan, a plan that mapped out significant life achievements and when I would achieve them. So far, I've derailed from my plan. But my plan doesn't matter. There's only one dream, one plan that really matters and that's his. He will make my dreams and my desires his.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
-Psalm 37:4

How To Be A Good Roommate

Step 1: Clean Up After Yourself
There's nothing more frustrating than coming home to a kitchen or living room that is messy and has clutter. It's just common courtesy to clean up after yourself and not make other people do it. Accommodate to others cleanliness levels. What your idea of clean may not be clean to others and that's frustrating to live with.

Step 2: Be a friend
When you live with others' you may not always get along but you share life together and it's important to be willing to get to know your roommate and bond. Sometimes it's nice to come home from a hard day and be able to vent it out and get things off your chest.

Step 3: Be communicative
It's hard to bring up issues that annoy you to others' and vice versa but in the long run it's much healthier and will be a defining factor in how you treat each other. If you're on the end of being told what you're doing wrong it can be hard and you might get mad but hopefully after a cooling off period you'll realize that it was hard to bring up the issue and the reason they brought it up was not to hurt but to come up with a resolution. If you're bringing up the issue remember to go in the situation with a nice attitude and try not to get upset with your roommate.

Step 4: Sharing is Caring
But only when you ask. Be respectful of your roommate's belongings. You should always ask permission before borrowing and always return the items in same condition if not better. If you ruin/ lose something be willing to replace it.

Step 5: Control Your Noise Levels
It's okay to set your alarm loud enough to wake up just don't let it ring for 10 minutes before you get out of bed. And it's okay to watch movies, just don't have the volume on loud and be watching an action movie at 2am. It's okay to do things, just be courteous and remember that your roommate AND neighbors are trying to sleep.

Step 6: Shower Regularly and Wear Deodorant
No one likes being around someone who smells and more importantly no one likes telling someone that they smell. I'm not telling you that you need to shower everyday (Lord knows I don't) but you do need to use deodorant everyday, trust me on this one! Here's a handy guideline if you need help figuring it out:
After exercise - shower
Been more than three days - shower
You've been a couch potato recently - shower
When people around you make faces - should of showered yesterday
Swimming -this is not a shower, you still NEED to shower
Rolling around with pets/animals - shower

Step 7: Don't Be Annoying
Nobody has time for that. But in all honesty, respect each others' "me times" and you'll get along better and less things will be annoying like the way you smack your gum or your how your voice does that one thing.

Step 8: Do chores
This goes along with clean up after yourself but it also isn't one persons job to clean up the apartment and take out the trash. Be willing to chip in the time and get to the grime. Or you know being willing to throw a few bucks $$$ a girl's way.

Step 9: Don't Steal Food
Food is a sacred ingredient in keeping me alive. I like what I like. If you like what I like, in the words of a cheez-it commerical, get your own box.

Step 10: Don't Judge
We all come from different walks of life and have made different mistakes. Be willing to each other as you are and move on from there. Some behavior might warrant an intervention at times but that's another story.

I got a little tired at the end but here's your how to, I hope it's beneficial.

Blogging

I'm sitting here and I can't think of anything to write but in my head I'm like

but I also know if I think about it too much I might become something along the lines of this:

I know, scary. It takes hard work to be a blogger!

So I'm going to give myself a pep talk and hopefully write some awesome words of wisdom later.

Make Something Good Out Of Today

The title of this post came from a journal one of my roommates got me for Christmas. Today's been hard to follow that rule. I skipped every class I had including my lab. I just didn't have the motivation or the mental capacity to take today in. Days like these are hard. They are so discouraging but then my daily devotional (out of Jesus Calling) said this,

"Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties."

It was just a beautiful reminder that even though today was rough there's still good in it and to not give up. I know irony, considering I gave up this morning and skipped class.I guess I should have read my devotional first thing today. But there's blessings all around me I just have to open my eyes and change my perspective to see them. If anything today I learned to be better prepared for my classes. Lesson learned. I am not in a place where I can just give up this semester and I refuse to let giving up become my mentality.


I am not giving up on school. I am not giving up on believing that I will get out of this depression. I am not giving up on my faith. I am going to use these situations to lean on my wonderful father who is holding not only me but the entire world in his hands. There's a magnificent God so why would I give up on this life he has blessed me with. He never said it'd be easy, but he's leading me so that when I stumble I have a hand to hold that will keep me from falling.

He has me. I am his.

Spirit Lead Me..

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown, where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand

...

My soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours and you are mine 

I'm about to be 100% honest and some of it is not going to be pretty. This year and by year I don't mean 2014, this school year including parts of summer has been really difficult on me. For a majority of days it was hard to get out of bed and be thankful to be alive. I wanted to be dead. I was so unhappy and with no insight as to why. It was a hard fall semester to start feeling like that and I kept asking God "Why? Why this again?" and he never answered. I had a really hard time accepting that he left me to experience this depression. I wanted a magic wand that would wave it all away but that didn't happen. I lost faith.

I lost my joy. I lost my drive. I lost my faith in a good God. But while I was so stubborn to only see my way, he was working in my life. Someone explained to me that sometimes feeling God's presence is like a tree, when it's in full bloom it's beautiful and so vibrant with life but in the other seasons of the tree's life it's strengthening it's roots even though it's not in bloom. I've learned, I'm not always going to feel God's presence in my life but that doesn't mean he's left me. It means he's calling me to grow.

I got my faith back. I started to believe that even though I hurt, he was making something good come out of this pain. He's still working in my life through my depression reminding me that the only way out is through. I have to work through the issues that are causing my depression and the first step is to identify. I have so much work ahead of me but I have my loving father walking along side me and I have his spirit IN me. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior