Paths

Being jobless is for lack of a better term, sucky. You have bills to pay, you can't support yourself, and you have to be very frugal (which I'm not especially good at). Being supported by your parents has some great benefits but you have very little actual independence which is, in my opinion, all that college is about. It is identifying yourself and figuring out who you are without the parental input controlling your life. Exactly how is one supposed to find themselves if they're being chaperoned from appointment to appointment and asking for money all the time? One doesn't and that's where my problem sets in.

I want to be independent, I want to travel the world. I want to see amazing places and meet amazing people. I want to write a novel. I want to do something I love and not be told to sit in an office everyday. These dreams, they all require to know oneself and how can I know myself if I'm not independent?! But also brings up the fact how much do I need to know. There's so much to the human brain how could I possibly know what I all need to know to assert that I choose the right path to take. The right dream to follow.

It seems to me that life is a beautiful chaotic mess and sometimes it's so easy to get swept up in it. It's so easy to follow what you're supposed to do. I had a plan, a plan that mapped out significant life achievements and when I would achieve them. So far, I've derailed from my plan. But my plan doesn't matter. There's only one dream, one plan that really matters and that's his. He will make my dreams and my desires his.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
-Psalm 37:4