Making The Time

I'm really struggling with this lately and it's hard to be on the end where you feel like your friends have just not made time for you. This post isn't going to be encouraging, funny, but really more of a rant of I'm fed up.

My love languages, if you know me go in this order:

1. Physical touch
2. Quality time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Words of Affirmation
5. Acts of Service

So for me, quality time is up there. I get it, people get busy, we have commitments but I firmly believe that you make the time for people you want in your life. So with that thought in mind, I started a venture in where I drew my involvement back to see who would actively seek my friendship when I wasn't putting myself into it as much. The purpose wasn't to push people away but make it known (to me) that when I wasn't trying was this friendship working.

After having done this for several weeks in some friendships I've really had more of a revelation in that, if you're not going to try I don't want you in my life. It's hard but at the same time, I felt like in many of those relationships I was putting so much effort in that I stopped feeling like it was a mutual friendship and turned into a one-sided one. With recent events, that feeling is fresh in my mind. If you're not going to put time into having a friendship with me, then there really isn't a friendship there anyways.

You can't be friends with everyone. You have to decide who you want in your life, you have to prioritize the relationships in your life. You have to make the time for those people if you want to keep them in your life. And if you're like me, one day you might just have to let some of those friendships go so that others can grow. It's hard and it hurts but sometimes that's what you have to do. So I leave you with this, make sure you make the time for the important people in your life because really that's what matters.

How To Survive Valentine's Day Single

Step 1: Don't leave your house
There's decorations, couples, love in the air. Don't go out there, it will suck you in, like a cult.

Step 2: Don't give your friends valentines
You're not 12, nor in love. It makes you seem sad so just don't do it.

Step 3: Don't watch romantic comedies
Stick to a nice action movie, like fast and the furious or hunger games (yes there's love but mainly the premise to stay alive)

Step 4: If you must watch a sappy movie, cry to it
No judgement, it's just you, your teddy and maybe a few cats watching the movie with you. Throw some chocolates when the man lies. It's very therapeutic.

Step 5: Don't buy candy
Unless you want to eat it all in a day and then carry that self-loathing for weeks. Don't do it. You don't need chocolate or a man to make you happy.

Step 6: Don't call your ex
A. You shouldn't still have his number
B. You broke up for a reason
C. He will know how desperate you are

Step 7: Don't linger in the past
If you're hoarding pictures from your past relationship, pick two of you favorites and burn the rest. Or shred, rip, destroy them however you like. The two you keep find a box stick them in it and put it under your bed or closet where you won't find it for years.

Step 8: Don't do a group hang out on valentines
Bystanders will pity you and attendees will hit on you. It's kind of a lose-lose situation

Step 9: Only cry to fellow single ladies
Your best friend may be the person you tell everything to, but she's in a relationship. She won't get what you're going through even though she might have at some point. Couples get giddy with love and it's nauseating, they just pour out love. Don't succumb to the trap.

Step 10: Just don't get out of bed
Sleep in late, catch up on some TV, be lazy. Don't think that you should try and get so much done because you have a whole day. You won't and then you will feel like a failure. Take in some deep breaths and if you really can't relax try yoga.

Note: This 'How To' is not proven to produce any results of happiness on valentine's day. It is merely a guide for you to not dive into the realm of love on this tragic holiday. Stay single, stay proud.
Note of the note: This is a work of fiction, don't take it too seriously.

Social Media

I'm having a really hard time with social media right now. I love social media but I also feel that social media is one of the devil's biggest weapons that he uses. I struggle on days where I take so many pictures of myself. I get so caught up with how I look and wanting people to like my pictures. I want people to tell me I'm beautiful. I want people to compliment me and to a degree I think that's okay but what happens when that's where you hold value? What happens when you hold value in what other people tell you?

I started this blog not cause I wanted everyone to read it but I wanted a place where I could put my ideas out there. In the matter of a few posts I got so caught up about the fact that people were reading it. I got self-absorbed. It's hard not to, I think as human beings we are naturally self-absorbed creatures. I will talk more about that sometime, I'm sure. But when I become self-absorb I don't like me very much. I don't like the person I become. The more self-absorbed I am the more judgmental, rude and selfish I become.

I think vanity/pride is a very dangerous thing in too much doses. At least for me. So back to my the questions. What happens when you hold value in what other people tell you; well it's simple, you stop defining yourself by the truths of God and start holding yourself to the standard that society tells you to live by. You stop believing that you're a beautiful child of God, who should love themselves as they are. Instead you start believing that you're not skinny enough, you're not pretty enough, you just start to believe that you are not good enough. Which is a lie. It's a horrible lie that this world so often tries to make you believe. When you stop believing truth, your heart hardens towards yourself and others. I know that when I'm believing the lies of this world instead of the truth from my father that I'm hardening my heart against others. I stop seeing people as children of God and instead competition. Especially women. But I repeat something I heard on retreat, "women are not the enemy".

I'm not trying to say don't take selfies or that you're a bad person if you enjoy Facebook. What I am trying to say is be careful of your heart and your intentions. Remember the truths of your Father, not the lies of this world.

There's a song I've been listening to pretty non-stop since I got this CD. I think it applies to the post. So please give it a listen and remember that you're beautiful not because of what you look like, but because of your heart.

Come to me, I'm all you need.
Come to me, I'm your everything.