Depression (in my own words): is a mood disorder that causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, etc. that lasts for an extended period of time. It can be so problematic that the person suffering cannot live a normal life.
In comparison, I'll give you a definition of sadness
Sadness: usually a emotional state that can last for a couple to a few days. It may be intense in the moment but it usually subsides after a short bit of time.
Why am I making the distinction between depression and being sad? Well, many very good intentioned people sometimes try to relate to depressed people and say 'Oh yeah, I was depressed for like a week when...' No, you were not depressed but rather you were extremely sad and going through a hard time and yes I do understand how hard that is, I do, but that is not depression.
A wonderful friend of mine wrote a blog post and has some video links that is basically all about the point I'm trying to make and it's a lot cooler than me writing about it. Check it out!
Hannah's really awesome blog post about depression!
Did you click the link? Good. Watch the videos? Great. Now back to business.
My depression comes in varied states and affect my life from mildly there to crippling. It depends on many factors but even on days where nothing goes wrong depression can have it's hooks in me so deep. Today I had an averagely good day. I didn't work, I had time to myself. I finally got a good night's sleep after an exhausting week. I got to watch some doctor who and sit in a coffee shop and drink delicious lattes. However, as I sit here at night unable to sleep my mind tells me that I'm stupid and unlovable and that's all I can feel. I can feel depression tear me down and as much as I try and not let it, it's exactly what it does. I can sit here on a random good day and by the time that the day is done, I have the thought of 'I wish I didn't exist anymore'. I don't know if you would call that suicidal or not but that is how much of my life is spent.
The other reality of depression, you won't always look like you're depressed. You still laugh, you still smile, you still make plans and see people. Depression can manifest itself in different ways, I've literally struggled to get out of bed for weeks, not wanting to see anyone, not bothering to take care of myself but I've also struggled with depression in the midst of a normal day while have a 'good' time with a friend and having no reason to feel the emptiness that can consume me. Depressed people don't always look depressed. I do a fairly decent job at seeming like I have my life together when really some days I will sit in my bath tub and cry uncontrollably in the shower for nearly 30 minutes.
I don't really have a really good wrapping up point. Mainly cause this was the introduction information about depression. Also keep in mind that there's soooo much more about depression but there's only so much you can write in a single post. I will go into more aspects about depression and what not later on but for now I think this is a pretty good start. I have been wanting to write about my experiences dealing with depression and other things but a while but it's kinda pointless to do that without some background info on depression. Also please keep in mind that I'm just a girl who deals with depression and am not trying to sit here telling you how qualified I am to talk about this subject. I'm only writing this from my personal experience of depression with the hopes that you'll leave this post with a better understanding of what depression can be like. We all come from different walks of life but this just happens to be an important part of mine.
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